It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Randomize
