Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
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