omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
it's not cheating when I paid for it
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
