My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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