sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Randomize
