WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
