I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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