my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
