do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
