after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
