Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Randomize
