He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Randomize
