You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
