Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
This toilet bowl is my home.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
