This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
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