I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
two words...techno handjob
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
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