My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize
