Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
