rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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