I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Randomize
