East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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