I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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