apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
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