my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize
