It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
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