belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
