We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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