Where are you?
In a non slutty way
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Randomize
