ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
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