Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
