I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
What changed your mind?
Being sober
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Randomize
