just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
