Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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