I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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