Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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