My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
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