he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
