Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
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