batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
