the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
