Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Randomize
