ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
