God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Randomize
