My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
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