she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
