dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
