Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
These tits shall not be calmed
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
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