But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
