Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
