The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Randomize
