He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Randomize
